Museum folk like humor as much as the next person. To that end, we have developed a number of
tips for museum visitation, all tongue-in-cheek of course and actually the
antithesis of how you should act in a museum.
But it’s fun!
So, when visiting a Museum, it is important to act in a
certain way so as not to endanger the artifacts or ruin the experience of those
around you. Here are a few tips for
being a considerate museum visitor:
1. Run…as
fast as possible – Oftentimes folks get annoyed when you walk too slowly. Be the considerate guest your mom raised you
to be, run through exhibits at full speed, knocking over as many Grecian urns, suits
of armor, and bus groups of precious retirees as possible.
2. Share
Your Thoughts Loudly and Proudly – When expounding upon your knowledge of
World War II weaponry or running through the exhibits (see tip 1), please do so
as loudly as possible. We have high hopes that if the internal volume of the
Museum reaches a high enough decibel level, we can wake up the mummies and cash
in like that museum in the movie Night at the Museum.
3. Drink up – Look, guys, museum folks are
humans too and, as such, we know coffee is the lifeblood of the human race. For
this reason, we encourage you to bring your grande iced sugar-free vanilla latte with soy milk. Bonus points for drizzling it on the Mi Lo
Buddha. He needs his morning fix to get up, go to work, and seek Enlightenment
just like you and me.
See? He’s thrilled!
4. Go Solo – If you’ve come with a group,
be sure and leave them and move quickly to the most remote area of the galleries. This step is critically important to the
survival of the collections. In the wild
of the museum, displayed dinosaurs and mounted mannequins must forage for
sustenance. In the absence of a stray
volunteer or intern, such predators often must resort to feeding on Museum
visitors. Be kind. Don’t let these dear specimens starve.
5. Get the Hands-On Experience – Get your
paws into the claws of the T. Rex. He
doesn’t mind. He rather enjoys having
his extremities slowly coated in discarded skin cells, grande iced sugar-free
vanilla latte (see tip 3) and Cheetos dust. He licks his claws for nourishment when there
aren’t any vagrant curators handy (see tip 4).
6. Flash On, Flash Off – We encourage
pictures, especially those with flash. One
of our staff members loves messages written in invisible ink and has since she
was a 5-year-old. She is dearly hoping to
return to her Encyclopedia Brown days of yore by deciphering missives from the
greats such as Queen Isabella of Spain and King George III that have been faded
by the paparazzi-esque flashes of eager tourists. Please, she needs this. She can only spend so
long reading easily decipherable text.
As you can see, the rules of museum etiquette may not be
exactly as you suspected. Remember, this
is our feeble attempt at humor. You
should actually do just the opposite of everything you just read.
Have fun during your next visit to the Museum of World
Treasures!
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